They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
