She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think people are normalizing furries
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
