I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize