I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
