This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
