sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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