So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
