my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
