I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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