I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize