I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
