If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
