that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
