you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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