well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
