We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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