Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize