everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
