Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
