would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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