And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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