Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
