Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
