idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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