And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
