please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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