Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
