Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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