Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We left the knife in your bed.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
