I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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