i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
