I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
