Ambien. No doubt about it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
