She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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