you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
ok first of all what the fuck
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
