First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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