i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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