i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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