How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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