I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
