Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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