I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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