Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

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  (603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening (508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night http://tfl.nu/fae5
  Replies (45) Good night (5359) Bad night (500)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.

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  (716): Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed. http://tfl.nu/65fd
  Replies (14) Good night (828) Bad night (2991) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.

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  (301): people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture. http://tfl.nu/g8h6
  Replies (30) Good night (5310) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

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  (704): i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes. http://tfl.nu/4acf
  Replies (54) Good night (3576) Bad night (2513) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.

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  (740): He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick. http://tfl.nu/4s44
  Replies (22) Good night (4708) Bad night (1141) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.

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  (410): I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us. http://tfl.nu/iw4a
  Replies (5) Good night (3058) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?

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  (734): How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together? http://tfl.nu/es97
  Replies (64) Good night (1370) Bad night (4500)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.

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  (814): I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work. (1-814): Either he has bad timing or he wants to join. http://tfl.nu/sgyz
  Replies (5) Good night (2157) Bad night (325)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.

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  (205): i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets. http://tfl.nu/hykz
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN

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  (603): YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN http://tfl.nu/ns4x
  Replies (16) Good night (1494) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.

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  (310): oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars. http://tfl.nu/b3kf
  Replies (4) Good night (544) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.

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  (716): Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out. http://tfl.nu/y9bt
  Replies (2) Good night (1146) Bad night (236)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.

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  (603): I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success. http://tfl.nu/py46
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (241)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.

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  (706): I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/oprl
  Replies (4) Good night (1184) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?

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  (480): Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me? (1-480): Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out? http://tfl.nu/ggfq
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt

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