Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize