just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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