I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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