Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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