let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sorry about my life...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
