New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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