So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
