i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
