This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
