You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My penis needs a shock collar
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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