and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize