We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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