guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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